Monday, March 7, 2016

Moving Forward

It's been a rough winter for me.  As many of you know, my mother passed away in early January.  Although we knew this day was coming, I just didn't expect it to be so soon.  Grieving has been a much slower process than I thought it would be.  I have been busy with all the usual little activities of life in addition to helping my Dad learn to cope on his own. And then out of the blue, I'll think of something I want to tell Mom or a question I have for her, and it hits me anew that she isn't here to share things with.

Mom and Dad with seven of the great-grandkids in 2008.
Two more were born after this, and Mom made a quilt for every one of them.


There were other moments of sadness in January, too.  Shortly after the first of the year, we lost my garden buddy Tarzan, who had been suffering from diabetes.



At the end of the month, we also lost our granddog Bear. A Mastiff, he was a rather intimidating sight to strangers at the door, but in reality he was a gentle giant.


Youngest grandson loved his big old Teddy Bear.

All in all, it was a lousy January.


And here it is March...

Weather-wise, we haven't had a bad winter.  January was one of the warmest Januarys on record, and I don't think we've had a day below zero (-18 C) all winter.  We had only one really bad day when the wind, more than the few inches of snow, caused hazardous driving conditions and forced all the schools to close.


Snowy days like those are the best time to hunker down indoors and enjoy a little bird-watching from the comfort of a warm living room.  The usual feathered friends appeared at the feeders, like this white-breasted nuthatch.


And the friendly tufted titmouse.


Even the red-tailed hawk decided to come in for a closer look, though I don't think he was interested in the feeders.  He stuck around for awhile, and I certainly hope he didn't find any little birds for his lunch here.


The male downy-headed woodpecker came by for his favorite suet treat, and then the female also appeared.


They weren't the only couples to visit, however.  On one snowy day, we counted at least 5 pairs of cardinals foraging on the ground and at the feeders.  Perhaps they were checking out the premises for suitable nesting places soon?



The cardinal is our state bird and my personal favorite. 
 I love their bright red coloring, especially against a backdrop of snow.


The red-bellied woodpecker, once a rare sight here, has now become a permanent resident, I think.


There have been many other visitors, too, including the blue jays that I wasn't quick enough to capture in a photograph.  But the sweet little chickadee is a cooperative photo model.


Since the beginning of February, the weather has been fluctuating wildly, to say the least.  One day the temps hit 70 for a new record, and daffodils could be seen poking up through the soil all over the place.


And just a few days later, we were back in full-blown winter.  And no, I know this isn't a stand of daffodils--it's sedum--but the daffodils were nowhere to be found on this snowy day.  I think my poor daffodils are confused, thinking one day that spring is here, only to hide away and go into hibernation the next.

The weather experts are predicting an early spring, and I, for one, would be so happy if they are right.
Spring is my favorite season, and I always find my spirits lifting this time of year no matter what the winter has been like.


In the past week, we have seen signs of its imminent appearance, first with my small stand of snowdrops that appeared suddenly through all the leaf debris.


And just a few days later, the first crocuses opened up.  All happy signs of so much more to come--I can't wait!


Usually, at this time of year I join in with Beth at Plant Postings for her Lessons Learned meme. I haven't had much time to think about gardening this past winter, so I can't say I've learned much about it recently.  But I certainly have learned some life lessons these past few months, and there is one in particular about my mother that I always want to remember.  My mother was a typical woman of the 50's--a housewife who put family first.  She cooked three meals a day from scratch, sewed most of my clothes, tended a large garden and canned enough produce for the winter, and drove a tractor when my Dad needed her help.  She never wrote a book, built a building, or was famous in any way.  Yet when friends and neighbors came to offer their condolences after she passed, they all commented how she had helped them at one time or another, always with a smile on her face.  The comment I heard over and over again was that they had never heard my mother say an unkind word about anyone.  I know they were sincere, because I honestly never heard my mother say anything negative or unkind about anyone either. What a wonderful legacy! I only hope I can follow my mother's example more in the coming years. This world could certainly use a little more kindness.


Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.
 Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
Scott Adams


41 comments:

  1. So very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother - I think there are many of us that completely know what you are experiencing, but of course it does not necessarily make it any easier ... but time does help. I read your last paragraph (with tears in my eye) as you were talking about my Dear Mum too. I have done my best to follow her example and feel sure there is some I have succeeded with and others I'm still trying. Family and loved ones are the centre of all things good and we should always surround them and ourselves with a big hug.

    I did enjoy looking at all your bird photo's, those red cardinals are just so colourful aren't they.

    The weather globally seems so mixed up and flowers and bulbs are most confused.
    We have some lovely banks of daffodils locally that look glorious and I did see a very nice camellia in bloom to. Nature shows us so many great colours.

    I send my good wishes to you and your family

    All the best Jan

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Jan. I know that I'm not the only one who has gone through this, and it does help to hear that time does heal. I am looking forward to sunny days ahead in the garden.

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  2. I am sorry to hear about your loss. I hope the spring brings you much joy and rejuvenation. I miss the cardinals. They are not here on the west coast. :(

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    1. Thank you, Phillip. the day we saw all the cardinals was so delightful; I hope they all found nesting places for the spring. I have been so behind on blog reading--you're living on the west coast now??

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  3. My dear Rose,
    What a wonderful tribute to your Mother......she sounds a good and kind person. I am sure you miss her greatly. I still miss my Father but it does get easier. There are times it catches me out and my eyes fill but the tears no longer flow.
    Sad also to lose your much love companions..........missed in a different way, but still missed.

    It has been a hard year for our gardens...........climate change is altering the way we garden, I fear there is much more to come but we will adapt and hopefully the wildlife will to.

    Lovely shots of the birds in your garden........I hope the raptor found food, we all need to eat Rose.

    Take care Rose
    Thinking of you

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    1. I want to thank you, too, Cheryl, for the lovely card you sent me after Mom passed--I was so surprised to receive it in the mail, and it meant so much to me. The early days of grief are over, but as you say, there are times when I see or do something that I think of my mother immediately, and I can't help but be sad for a moment. I wish I could have gotten a better photo of the hawk; they are a common sight around here, but rarely do they come so close to the house. I did see one catch a squirrel one day!

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  4. I'm very sorry to hear that your mum died in January. I think to lose a mum is one of the most painful things and I still miss my mum. She'd be extremely old by now if she was alive, as I'm an old lady too! Just shows though, how special our mothers are to us.
    Also you lost your pets and that is always a wrench too.

    The photos are lovely. Spring brings new hope, new life etc and the sunshine warms our hearts.
    Maggie x

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    1. I appreciate the kind words, Maggie, especially since you have suffered such a tremendous loss yourself recently. I agree about spring--it always lifts my spirits and gives me hope.

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  5. That's a beautiful tribute to your mother. And gorgeous photos as well. How do you keep suet feeders where the squirrels can get them? Our squirrels out here have destroyed those simple suet feeders --so frustrating!

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    1. Thank you, Cassi. This year I haven't noticed any squirrels on the suet feeders, though I have in the past. I'm not sure why, except that they must sense the dogs around and tend to stay further away from the house.

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  6. What a sad beginning of the year for you. I am so sorry. One never truly gets over the loss of a loved one, especially a much-loved mother, but the pain does lessen with time, and the wonderful memories help. I hope the rest of the year holds nothing but good things for you and your family.

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    1. Thank you, Dorothy. I know that time will help, and the coming of spring will certainly lift my spirits.

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  7. Dear Rose, there are no words that will console. I know. And after nearly 15 years I still miss her so much. But how wonderful to treasure all those warm memories and still see her smiling face and know we were love. Handsome family you have! Thanks for sharing this with us.
    PS: We are sending spring your way. :)

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    1. Thank you, Diana. Yes, there are so many happy memories, and those are what I think of most often when I think of Mom. Thanks for sending spring our way--there are more signs here every day. I think my tulips and daffodils grew two inches overnight!

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  8. So sorry for your loss. Here's to a nice spring for you. Take care.

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    1. Thank you, Gardener. I think we're all anxious for spring!

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  9. Oh Rose, what a thoughtful tribute to your mom! I'm so sorry it was such a rotten January. When life is that challenging, weather doesn't matter much. I do hope your coming months will be much more happy. Your mom sounds like a special lady, although I'm not surprised because you are, too. Hugs.

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    1. Life is getting better, Beth, and thank you for your kind words. My mother was the first gardening influence in my life, so I'll be thinking of her this spring, especially when I plant the veggie garden. Though my small veggie garden is nowhere as big as hers was!

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  10. You get most of the same birds I see at my feeders. Had a hawk here last week but he got a squirrel instead of one of my birds. I'm sorry to hear about your Mom and your pets. The loss is something I never really got over but I did learn to live with it. My sister and I spend a lot of time talking about our Mom, just little things and it doesn't hurt anymore. That's a lovely family photo.

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    1. I've seen a hawk catch a squirrel here, too, Marnie, so I hope it wasn't a bird he caught this time. My sister-in-law and I have been reminiscing and sharing funny stories as we have been sorting through all mom's sewing materials. It does help--good memories.

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  11. I am so glad you have your garden as a haven. I hope it brings you much solace. Time...
    Big hugs.

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    1. Yes, Lisa, garden therapy can work wonders. I hope to have time in the coming week or so to get back out there--if it isn't too wet.

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  12. Rose, I'm so sorry, you lost your dearest mother and pets, it's really 'lousy January'. Love your photos of awaking nature I'm waiting for spring coming soon as well.

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    1. Thank you, Nadezda. March is certainly off to a better start--we've had warm days, and there are signs of spring everywhere.

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  13. Oh Rose, I'm so sorry to hear that your year has got off to such a sad and difficult start. What a lovely family photo with so much happiness shining out of it. Your mum sounds a most special lady. It's mind boggling to comprehend what hard work those women of the 1950s did to nurture their families. I hope that the coming of spring and spending more time in the garden will provide you with some comfort. Take care.

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    1. Thank you, Anna. My 90-year-old father is learning to adjust to being alone and just now realizing how much my mother did each day. My mother wasn't the bridge-playing housewife in pearls and heels you used to see in 50's sitcoms:) Looking forward to getting into the garden!

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  14. Oh Rose, what a horrid start to the year. Your Mum sounds a rather special lady, and I'm sure you will get ambushed by grief plenty more times, but I hope that gradually the happy memories become a comfort rather than causing pain. And that spring brings good things to you and your family, as well as all those lovely flowers.

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    1. Spring is definitely helping, Janet, and I know I will have happy memories of my mother as I work in the garden.

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  15. Rose, I thought I commented before, but perhaps I did on FB. I don't remember. I'm so sorry about your mother. It has been a very hard winter for you and your family. I hope you're starting to see the first signs of spring throughout your garden, and that these bring you some joy. Much love. ~~Dee

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    1. The garden is definitely bringing me some joy already, Dee. And now after yesterday's depressing election results--locally as well as nationally--I'm going to be burying a lot more troubles in the dirt.

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  16. Dear Rose ... I am so sorry about your mom and these other dear lives that have passed. That is an amazing legacy for your mom to have passed on (being such a kind positive human being is far more important than anything I can imagine and that is said in all honesty) .. I hope that with the brighter time of year coming round , you will find more things to smile about and enjoy slowly but surely .. we keep moving ahead.
    The garden will help you do that ... it is a terrific motivator for me when I am in a dark place.
    Who's quote is it "this to shall pass .." I can't seem to remember , but time is a great healer .. hang in there girl ! Take care !
    Joy : )

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    1. Thank you, Joy. I agree that a person's legacy has more to do with the kind of person one is than any kind of man-made creation. That quote has always been one of my favorites and has helped me through a lot of tough times. Spring is appearing early here, so I am finding a lot of joy in my garden.

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  17. Sorry you had so many painful losses in the first month of the year. I love the photograph of Bear and young friend. Looks like you have the beginnings of a promising spring in your garden. Your mother sounds like an inspiring person.

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    2. Thank you, Jason. Spring is really helping--it's so much earlier than usual this year, and I am ready for it!

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  18. This is a lovely tribute to a special woman. I'm so sorry you lost your mother and your cat and grand dog. It must have been a miserable winter. It's good to have a cute new grand baby and avian visitors to brighten your days.

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  19. Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman. It will take time. She has been there for you all of your life; you can't expect to move on too quickly. But family is a wonderful thing and children especially can make you smile when you least feel like it. Or possibly Sophie will!

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  20. I am so sorry for your losses Rose. It was a hard January indeed. Kindness is a wonderful lesson to have learned from your Mom. I have a feeling generosity is another. Two great gifts from a mother to her daughter.

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  21. I'm sorry for your losses, Rose. Yes, you will continue to want to ask or tell your mom things. I wish I would have gotten my dad to open up more about his life before he passed away a year and a half ago. My mom does a lot for others, and now that I think of it, does not say anything bad about others, either. She keeps getting rid of things, giving us some of them, because she wants the place to look good for when she passes, so it will be easy to sell. Oh, dear! The other day, she gave me an old Bible that was my dad's when he was younger.

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  22. I know what a hard winter you've had. I hope the rest of the year is absolutely wonderful. :o)

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  23. Ugh, sometimes it seems everything happens at once. I am so sorry for your losses. That's a beautiful family picture. (I hope this doesn't sound creepy when I say I am envious of the auburn hair of the granddaughter on the far left!) Your mother sounded like a truly amazing woman.

    You got a great picture of the red-bellied woodpecker. The only time I have ever seen the red belly on a red-bellied woodpecker was when I saw one on a feeder (not surprisingly, lol).

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